Anyone who knows me, knows I am a founding member and soon to be, past president of our local PETA organization. I have seriously neglected my Duties and should probably pass the title along to another person interested in furthering our groups goals and accomplishments. Not that I dont partake of all things a good PETA president should and I do set excellent examples for fellow members.
PETA is People Eating Tasty Animals! Not that other acronym. If God didn't want us eating animals, then why did he make them out of meat? To become a member all you have to do is "suffer" through an initiation by putting on a good Barbeque for all members and promise to uphold the goals of PETA by enjoying meat at every meal or whenever possible. There really is no suffering in that. BBQs are awesome!
Below are some of the finer points of PETA, which is kind of like Boyscouts for grilling type people.
Grill Master. You become a Grill Master when you grill for everyone you know and everyone you meet. Its all about he who grills the most animals, is the master. Or for the Fast track, a Graduation Certificate from BBQ University is acceptable.
3F badge. Earned by eating meat from all three meat groups. Fins, Feathers, and Furs. Preferably at every Barbeque.
The Turducken is the official bird of PETA. For those who dont know what that is, its a Duck, inside a Chicken, inside a Turkey. You pussies can stuff bread in your Turkey, but real stuffing is more meat!
Favorite Snack of PETA is Jerky. Any meat works. Caught eating Soy Jerky is grounds for immediate revocation of Membership.
Favorite Pizza of a PETA Member is the Meatza, or Meat Lovers. If you order double or extra toppings, you are an upstanding member and an example for all of PETA.
PETA recognizes 5 basic food groups: Pork, Beef, Fish, Fowl, and Condiments.
Favorite Salad Topping, Bacon Bits. Not Baconettes, that questionable crap you wonder if its bacon or clay. What is that crap? Looks like Beggin Strips.
I once went to 3 Barbeques in one day. Setting an example for all fellow members. I never say no to a Barbeque. Did you know there are 3 ways that are all right to spell Barbeque, Barbecue, BBQ. That is a wonderful thing.
Ted Nugent is one of the Idols and an honorary member of PETA.
When you become a member, you can shop in the PETA Store for Items such as Fur Coats and Rugs. Anything Leather. We also sell Bumper Stickers like:
